


All I've Got is Memories

by Dareandwriteit



Series: Killing Governor Callen is a family activity I guess [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, Callen is mentioned, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know what I'm supposed to tag, I'm new to this, Kravitz is mentioned, post suffering game, revenge is family activity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-15
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-10-05 15:44:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,473
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10311620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dareandwriteit/pseuds/Dareandwriteit
Summary: Magnus doesn't have much left of Julia, and fights to keep the little he's got.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction ever! Hope you enjoy it

Magnus liked to drink. He wasn’t a drunk or anything. It was a social thing. People relaxed and liked to talk when you were drinking. Pubs were familiar, and busy, which is what he liked.

“Hey handsome.”

There was a downside though. It didn’t happen often. But when you sit up at the bar alone, some people view it as an invitation.

He didn’t even look up from his drink. “I’m flattered but I’m kind of spoken for.” 

“I would hope so.” She put a hand on his left arm, and Magnus felt himself tense. Waves of anxiety ran up his arm, drawing his shoulders up and making him clench his teeth. He tried to pull his arm away, but her hand gripped tighter.

“Magnus.”  
He finally looked up, his other hand reaching for Railsplitter on his back. He didn’t reach. He didn’t breathe. He couldn’t.

It was Julia. A little older, yes, with lines beneath her eyes and her hair thinner, but it was Julia. Magnus raised his right hand, and reached for her her face. But his hand wouldn’t move. He couldn’t bring himself to touch her, because it couldn’t be her. He was afraid that if he touched her she’d disappear. 

“Jules,” his voice was hoarse. He barely made a sound. He was suddenly aware of how much older he was, how his hair was streaked with white. 

She took his hand, and pressed it against her face. And she smiled, that same smile she’d always had, with a gap in her front teeth.

Julia was warm.

“Hi Mags. I missed you.”

The world was very small in that moment. There wasn’t enough air. Words had no meaning. His head felt like it was underwater.

“I… I don’t…” Magnus swayed in his seat, the whole room seemed to move around him. Julia put her hands on his chest, steadying him.

“We need to talk.”

Magnus didn’t remember how he got outside. Julia was leading him, rushing through the busy streets. She kept telling him something, but he just couldn’t hold it in his head. Words rolled off him like rainwater. All he could do was look at her. All he could think was “Julia”.

It was a grip on his other hand that drew his attention back to the present. He looked down to see Merle grabbing him, Taako not far behind him. They were in the marketplace, closed and abandoned for the night. They were supposed to rendezvous here before they called for lift back to the Bureau. Magnus didn’t remember how he’d got there.

“What’s the rush, big guy? You think you’re buddies are gonna embarrass ya in front of your new friend?” Merle said.  
“Friend?” Magnus asked, on reflex. Julia pulled on his left hand harder.  
“Magnus. We can’t trust anyone, we have to go,” she said insistently.  
“But these are-” Magnus protested weakly.  
“They could be working for…”  
And Magnus felt like he’d blinked and skipped a few seconds. Like the world had lost track of him for a little bit and only just remembered to drag him back into the present.

Something had happened.

Taako, who had been leaning back against a stall and pretending not to take an interest, was now bolt upright. His knuckles were white from the grip he had on his umbrella. Merle had grabbed Magnus’ hand even tighter, to point where the wooden fingers were starting to leave their mark.

“Who is this, Magnus?” Taako asked this with a sincerity that chilled Magnus to his bones.  
“This is… Well, it’s...” Magnus found himself stumbling over the words, not wanting to have to share this burden now.  
“You can’t tell them,” Julia was also gripping Magnus harder now, “He’ll find us.”

Her eyes burned through Magnus’ very soul, the same way they had a hundred times since he’d lost her. Or, thought he’d lost her… Everything felt strange, like it was happening a hundred miles away, to someone else.

“This is Julia.”

He hadn’t wanted to say it. He knew that it could only go wrong. 

Maybe he wanted it to go wrong.

Taako’s ears twitched, and he adjusted his grip on the umbrella. His face was unreadable.

“As in The Julia? The one you asked Kravitz about?”  
Magnus nodded, but found himself taking a step back as Julia pulled on his hand again. Merle held on anyway.  
“Thing is, Kravitz doesn’t work with people who are alive, does he bubbleh?” Taako said in a voice attempting to be casual, “That’s kind of his whole schtick.”

“Magnus.” Julia’s voice was desperate now. Magnus couldn’t bear to look at her, her voice had worked its way into his chest and was pulling at his heart with urgency.

“Is that really her?” Merle asks, beckoning Taako closer with a not so subtle nod of his head. Magnus went to turn his head to her, but Merle interrupted. “Are you sure?”  
“I’m right here Magnus. Please, he won’t stop until he finds us.” Julia had said some other things too, but all of it just vanished again. It was like falling asleep for a second and waking up where everything had changed ever so slightly.

“I don’t… I don’t know what’s happening! I don’t understand, I just want…” Magnus felt tears welling up, his eyes prickling with pressure of emotion overpowering his mind.  
“It’s not her, Magnus.” Taako’s voice was soft. It was a voice he only used when sharing something he hadn’t wanted to share. “You know that, right?”

And her grip was like iron now, her fingers digging into the muscle deep enough to bruise. Magnus let go of Merle’s hand and looked at her again.

“It’s me Magnus.”

And he thought it was. She smelled like her, fresh wood shavings and lavender. The same gap in her teeth, the same freckles splashed across her nose. She still wore her red bandanna tied neatly over her short dark hair. She was the shape of Julia, a mix of good food and hard work which had left her plump and strong.

He brushed a hand over hers. It looked like Julia’s, brown and small enough to fit in the palm of his. But it felt smooth, like it had been washed and moisturised with care everyday. The tiny, almost invisible bumps and scars of working in a blacksmith’s, things she wore with pride, were gone. 

He looked at her face, really looked closely. And it was… wrong. The parts were there, like someone had chopped up a picture of her and put it back together as carefully as they could. But there were imbalances: her eyes a shade too light, her lips a shade too dark. Her freckles were almost random. 

But most of all, he found his head struggling to come to terms with the thing right in front of him. Something that had to be obvious, but he just couldn’t process. He slowly reached to stroke her face again, and she seemed relieved by this act of tenderness. But he pulled away, taking the red bandana in her hair with him.

The same bandana he was wearing around his neck now. The one he’d salvaged from Raven’s Roost after the attack. 

He held the one he’d taken from her in his fist, the red fabric fluttering as he shook. Her hand was still gripping his left arm.

“You’re not her.”  
“Of course I am.”

Magnus felt another rush of anxiety pulse up his arm, just like it had when she had first laid a hand on him. But now, as thoughts of Julia seethed in his head, he knew it hadn’t been that at all. There was a reason she hadn’t let go of him. He felt all other ideas get pushed to the side as wave after wave of Julia stormed through. The woman in front of him wasn’t Julia, but every part of him said it had to be. Her essence was Julia, every part of her was this woman who had died so long ago. 

She needed protecting from someone. Someone whose name Magnus couldn’t remember. He had to go with her, in order to protect her.

The thought was crushing, it was everything. Magnus felt his feet moving almost of their own volition. He had to go with her. He had to protect her.

Something fast raced towards them: three small points of light in dark night. Taako’s magic missiles were somewhat predictable to Magnus, who had seen them so many times. He pulled his shield from his back and blocked all three deftly, never letting go of Julia.

What was next was unexpected. Merle tried casting dispel magic. Julia pushed him away with a wave of her hand. Some part of Magnus knew that Julia couldn’t do that kind of magic, but the new thoughts took over. He had to go with her. He had to protect her.

Merle was pissed now. Magnus could tell, because he cast wind wall to push her right back. It was obvious he Merle hadn’t thought this through, because she was still holding onto Magnus. Magnus was buffered by a wind so strong he could barely stay on his feet. The harsh wind whipped the marketplace to pieces, destroying empty carts and stalls without a trace. Julia held on to Magnus as tight as she could, screaming for him not to let go.

That’s when Taako cast Bigby’s Hand. He didn’t seem to want to do it: the hand grabbed Magnus very gently, and pulled him away quite slowly. Julia had to let go, she couldn’t keep hold against the wind. And every nerve in Magnus was screaming to hold on tighter, and not let her go this time. There was nothing he could do.

He saw Julia look in his face with tears in her eyes. Then she let go. 

Julia was gone.

A young elf woman was in her place, dressed in the robes of a wizard. She smiled at Magnus, the kind of a smile a wolf has before eating a helpless lamb. And with some difficulty against the wind, she blinked out of view.

Taako’s phantom hand set Magnus down gently. It was like he was afraid of breaking him. Magnus crumpled in a pile as soon as Taako let go. He legs didn’t work. His head didn’t work. He wasn’t sure how to… be.

Merle and Magnus came over quickly, trying to help in their own way. Merle tried to heal him. It didn’t change anything. Taako joked that Merle’s healing never does. Magnus didn’t laugh, he didn’t really understand what they were saying. 

Taako tried to place a hand on Magnus’ shoulder, but Magnus flinched away. Taako didn’t really know what to do after that. Affection didn’t come naturally to Taako, what little he did show was usually just an echo of Magnus’ cuddly nature. He sat down next to Magnus, taking care not to touch him. Merle hesitated for a second, before doing the same.

There was silence for a few moments.

“That sucked.” Merle said, with his typical lack of tact.  
Taako scowled at him, but Merle shrugged. Better to tackle it head on.  
“Yeah,” said Magnus. His voice was so quiet, it barely sounded like him.  
“Can’t blame you for falling for it. She was hot stuff.” Merle said.   
“Geez Merle, I thought your healing sucked. Turns out your bedside manner is a hot pile of garbage too,” Taako said. He paused for a moment.   
“I should have known,” Magnus said.  
Taako sighed. “It was powerful shit Magnus. She had a hand on you the whole time. That’s like next level freaky wizard stuff.”  
“But I should have known,” Magnus said, pressing the heel of his hand against his face.  
“Hey. When do we ever know anything?” Merle said. 

That made Magnus laugh, just a little.

“I just don’t understand why anyone would do that? Why would they do that to her?” Magnus asked.  
“To her? Mags, you’re the one who almost got snatched up like candlenights candy. Who gives a shit about her?” Taako was trying to seem aloof, but it came out a little too strong.  
“I meant to Julia.”  
“Oh.”

And suddenly a wall that around Magnus’ heart, one he didn’t know he’d built, broke. His heart welled over, and he couldn’t keep it inside without feeling like he was drowning.

“I don’t have much of Julia left. A wedding ring and a bandanna was all that was left except memories. And she was, she was everything. Those memories mean more to me than anything. Why would someone, just, tear them apart like that? Throw them in my face like they’re nothing more than trivia? My last memories with her were happy. I wasn’t there to protect her,” Taako and Merle exchanged a look that Magnus pretended not to see, “but that meant our last moments were good. Is my last memory of her going to be someone with her face, screaming and grabbing me when I don’t- I don’t-”

Magnus was shaking now. Tears were running down his face but he barely noticed them. Merle cautiously put his hand on Magnus’ arm, and when he didn’t respond, leaned in to hug him. Taako quietly did the same, his arm draped as far as it could reach over Magnus’ wide shoulders.

“Do you want a rest Mags?” Taako asked quietly.

Magnus nodded, a movement so slight it was barely perceptible. Taako tapped the end of his umbrella against Magnus’ boot, trying not to disturb their embrace. And sure enough, everything began to fade away. He felt his body get heavy, and begin to slump against Taako. Taako and Merle gently tried to lie him back on the ground, considering they couldn’t carry his weight themselves. He could swear he overheard a conversation in the blur of sleep, but he couldn’t be sure.

“Shit.” Taako said.  
“No kidding.” Merle replied.  
“This Callen guy sucks ass,” said Taako.  
“We knew that,” said Merle.  
“But he professionally sucks ass,” said Taako.   
“So he’s got some guys, we kill guys all the time,” Merle didn’t sound too confident.  
“His guys know what the fuck is going on! We’re a fucking a half pint priest who doesn’t know what god he’s worshiping and a washed up chef. What are you going to do, pray the guy to death?”  
“What are you saying? We just give up?”  
“Magnus won’t remember if we do! Just keep him away from Callen’s murder monkeys and bam! Zero consequences,” said Taako.  
“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.” Merle agreed.

There was long, long pause.

“I can’t wait to kill that bastard,” said Taako.  
“Me either,” said Merle.

Magnus slept soundly the whole night. Maybe a little too soundly. 

Taako and Merle didn’t like how quiet he was.


End file.
